Do not start by paying for grief counseling; first see whether your grief is really stuck (the signs in item 8)

Arranging psychological counseling for every bereaved person brings a small benefit, and after a while it can no longer be seen, because most people would have eased on their own. For people who already clearly cannot adapt, treatment works as well as treatment for other psychological problems. So check item 8 first (grief that is stuck, go to psychiatry). Spend this money only if it matches.

Cost

No money. The other way around, you save a counseling fee.

Benefit

61 controlled studies taken together. Giving psychological intervention to bereaved people in general shows a very small benefit just when treatment ends, and looking again after an interval shows no benefit left. Interventions that enroll only bereaved people who "already clearly cannot adapt" work as well as psychological treatment for other psychological problems. Studies that do no screening beforehand come out poorly, because the group that got no intervention would also have eased on its own over time. Another 14 trials that assigned people by lot, taken together: treatment for people who already had a problem was clearly better than the control both after treatment and at later visits, and after an interval the effect was still growing. Preventive intervention given in general to people who did not yet have a problem did not work. Another study followed 205 people from before the spouse died through 6 and 18 months after. That study separated 5 paths. They were ordinary grief, prolonged grief, prolonged depression, getting better during the bereavement, and resilience (able to hold up). Resilience was the most common. Ordinary grief was relatively uncommon.

Notes

What this says is "not everyone has to do it," not "nobody should do it." The high-risk bereavement in item 4 (a relative died by suicide, accident, or homicide) is exactly the kind the evidence supports doing. So is the kind in item 8 (grief that is stuck, go to psychiatry), the people who are already stuck. A Lancet review reaches the same conclusion: grief is not an illness, and most people do not need a professional intervention. The effort should go to people at high risk. It should also go to people who have already developed complicated grief, depression after the bereavement, and a stress disorder.

Sources · 4

1. Currier JM, et al. (2008). The effectiveness of psychotherapeutic interventions for bereaved persons: a comprehensive quantitative review. Psychological Bulletin. doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.134.5.648
2. Wittouck C, et al. (2011). The prevention and treatment of complicated grief: a meta-analysis. Clinical Psychology Review. doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2010.09.005
3. Bonanno GA, et al. (2002). Resilience to loss and chronic grief: a prospective study from preloss to 18-months postloss. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.83.5.1150
4. Stroebe M 等 (2007). Health outcomes of bereavement. Lancet. doi.org/10.1016/S0140-6736(07)61816-9（备注里那份综述）