In the first months after a blow, push back every big decision that cannot be undone

In this stretch your judgment of every "opportunity" is at its worst. In an experiment, sad people were willing to take a bit over 10% less money, and up to a bit over 30% less, so they would not have to wait 3 months. Anything larger than a month of income, or anything that would cost a lot to undo, gets pushed back for 3 months. Tell it first to a person who has no stake in the matter. Do not decide the same day.

Cost

No money. You only push the decision back, and you may miss some opportunities because of that. The hard part is that at the time it feels as if the opportunity will not wait.

Benefit

Avoid making a property disposal you cannot undo, in the stretch just after the blow, when judgment is at its worst. This kind of thing includes selling a home, quitting a job, putting a pension or a compensation payment out as a lump sum, remarrying in a hurry, and standing guarantee for someone. The amount of this kind of decision is usually on the scale of several tens of thousands of yuan up to a home, so the benefit is set at medium. Official documents likewise list "a family blow, job loss, and dropping out of school" as psychological-crisis risks that the community should go and look for on its own initiative. The state of this stretch is already treated as a state that needs an outsider to lend a hand. The grief guide of the US National Institute on Aging (NIA) lists "making decisions is hard" as a common feature of grief. It suggests: if you can choose, push major life decisions back until you feel better. While you are grieving and may not be able to think clearly, it is better not to make a large change such as selling a home or quitting a job. A study ran a set of experiments. The researchers assigned people at random, put some of them into a sad state, and then had them choose "take the money now" or "take the money after 3 months." Compared with people in a calm mood, sad people were willing to take 13% to 34% less money so they would not have to wait 3 months. This was sadness brought on in an experiment, not a real bereavement. In 2023 the US Federal Trade Commission (FTC) warned about a scam: someone poses as a funeral home and tells the family that if they do not pay more at once, the funeral will be cancelled. The first step it gives is to resist the pressure to "do it right now." A proper business will give you time to decide.

Notes

If there is no such person with no stake in the matter beside you, call 12356 and talk it through once (see item 11 of this section: if you need someone to talk with you, call 12356). You can also write it down yourself and read it again after 3 days. The grade is B because "push it back" has an official grief guide and a randomized experiment holding up the direction. No study has directly compared the property outcomes of bereaved people who pushed the decision back with those who did not. The NIA also only says "wait until you feel better." It does not give a length of time. "3 months" and "more than a month of income" are both lines the author drew. Common scams aimed at bereaved people and at elders are in section 17 (investing for old age, and using the home to fund old age) and section 6 (fortune-telling). The traps in guarantees and IOUs are in section 8. A few sums of money have to be handled on your own initiative, and they are not in the "push it back" list: the housing provident fund (公积金) balance, social insurance (社保) benefits, and the three work-death payments. See section 25 and section 19.

Sources · 4

1. 国家卫生健康委等 25 部门 (2026). 健全社会心理服务体系和危机干预机制实施方案（国卫医政发〔2026〕8 号）. gov.cn/zhengce/zhengceku/202604/content_70650…
2. National Institute on Aging. Coping With Grief and Loss（「Postpone major decisions if possible」一段，页面 2026-01-26 更新）. nia.nih.gov/health/grief-and-mourning/coping-…
3. Lerner JS, Li Y, Weber EU (2013). The financial costs of sadness. Psychological Science, 24(1), 72-79. doi.org/10.1177/0956797612450302
4. Puig A, Federal Trade Commission (2023-06-15). Imposters prey on families preparing for the funeral of a loved one. consumer.ftc.gov/consumer-alerts/2023/06/impo…