Cut back on draining relationships and learn to say no to unwanted requests

In a survey of widowed women aged 60 to 89, unpleasant contacts linked to well-being more strongly and more consistently than pleasant ones. So cut first, then add.

Cost

No monetary cost. In the short term, this may cause social friction and possibly lead to losing some relationships. It also takes considerable willpower to actually say no.

Benefit

A survey of 120 widowed women aged 60–89 found that unpleasant interactions showed a stronger and more consistent link to lower psychological well‑being than pleasant ones. In other words, the negative impact of a draining person outweighs the positive effects of a supportive one.

Notes

The study group is quite specific, and the questionnaire was administered only once, so no cause‑and‑effect sequence can be determined. It measures overall happiness rather than energy levels. The author includes this example as a speculative inference. There is no objective definition of what counts as a “draining” relationship; each person must judge that for themselves.

Sources · 1

1. Rook (1984). The negative side of social interaction: Impact on psychological well-being. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.46.5.1097