Count the time cost of raising a child by whose time is taken up, not by how hard it feels

Turn the hours spent watching the child each day, and the number of times you are woken at night, into time. Then multiply by the hourly wage of the person doing the work. The figure is usually far larger than the money spent on formula and diapers. So it is better to agree the split before the child is born.

Cost

It costs no money. What it costs is time. Before a child turns 3, that time is basically taken up for the whole day. The hard part is that it is like this every day. You cannot grit your teeth for a few days and be done.

Benefit

Turn the time spent watching the child each day, and the number of times you are woken at night, into hours. Then multiply by the hourly wage of the person doing that work. The figure is usually far larger than the money spent on formula and diapers. Watching the child, cooking, and getting up at night are unpaid, and they still go into the cost the same way. The method is the same as the housework calculation in Section 10. Agree the split first, then decide whether to have a child.

Notes

The figure does not need to be exact. What helps is both of you, before the birth, talking through the split against the same sheet, so you are not arguing after the birth. If you go back to work after the birth and the employer transfers you or cuts your pay, how to respond is in Section 19, item 23 (do not agree to a transfer and a pay cut).

Sources · 1

1. 作者经验，无直接文献；口径见第 10 节