If a child says they like the same sex, do not scold, do not throw them out, do not send them for “conversion”: how the family reacts ties to whether they attempt suicide

Among Chinese secondary students, children who like the same sex or both sexes attempt suicide in a year about 3 to 5.5 times as often as others. Overseas research finds that teens strongly rejected at home attempt suicide far more later. Those parents send for “conversion” also attempt suicide far more.

Cost

No money. The hard part is parents digesting their own feelings first and not saying cruel words in the moment.

Benefit

A domestic survey covered 506 secondary schools in 7 provinces, 150822 students from grade 7 through grade 12. Past-year suicide attempts among boys: opposite-sex only 2.2%, same-sex only 6.9%, both sexes 12.2%. Girls: 3.1%, 8.9%, 10.9%. That is about 3 to 5.5 times peers who only like the opposite sex. Researchers subtracted age, academic pressure, family finances, and bullying. After that, for boys the two groups had OR 3.13 (95% CI 2.28–4.28) and 3.83 (2.85–5.14), about two to three times higher. A meta-analysis of 35 studies found OR 3.50 (2.98–4.12) for sexual-minority adolescents attempting suicide. A U.S. study interviewed 224 gay and bisexual youth aged 21 to 25 about family reactions in adolescence. Versus peers with almost no family rejection, high rejection had OR 8.4 for attempting suicide. In another study, parents who themselves tried to change the child’s sexual orientation: OR 3.08 (1.39–6.83) for the child’s suicide attempt. Parents who also sent the child to a therapist or religious figure: 5.07 (2.38–10.79) (China / multi-country / U.S.)

Notes

Grade B because these are one-time surveys, and the degree of family rejection relies on adult recall — they show association, not which caused which. Parents need not agree at once; first do not do things that harm the child. In law, parents must not abuse or abandon a child, and must not use domestic violence against a child. Habitual insults and intimidation also count as domestic violence. If the child is low and says they do not want to live, call 12356 first — see Section 1, item 25 (call 12356 when there are suicidal thoughts). You can also go to psychiatry under item 8 of this section (one depression screen at ages 12 to 18). Why not touch “conversion” is in Section 6, item 28 (do not do sexual-orientation conversion). Beneficiaries are the child, and you.

Sources · 6

1. Huang Y, Li P, Guo L, et al. (2018). Sexual minority status and suicidal behaviour among Chinese adolescents: a nationally representative cross-sectional study. BMJ Open, 8(8), e020969. doi.org/10.1136/bmjopen-2017-020969
2. di Giacomo E, Krausz M, Colmegna F, Aspesi F, Clerici M. (2018). Estimating the Risk of Attempted Suicide Among Sexual Minority Youths: A Systematic Review and Meta-analysis. JAMA Pediatrics, 172(12), 1145–1152. doi.org/10.1001/jamapediatrics.2018.2731
3. Ryan C, Huebner D, Diaz RM, Sanchez J. (2009). Family rejection as a predictor of negative health outcomes in white and Latino lesbian, gay, and bisexual young adults. Pediatrics, 123(1), 346–352. doi.org/10.1542/peds.2007-3524
4. Ryan C, Toomey RB, Diaz RM, Russell ST. (2020). Parent-Initiated Sexual Orientation Change Efforts With LGBT Adolescents: Implications for Young Adult Mental Health and Adjustment. Journal of Homosexuality, 67(2), 159–173. doi.org/10.1080/00918369.2018.1538407
5. 全国人大常委会 (2024 年修正). 未成年人保护法（第十七条）. flk.npc.gov.cn/detail?id=ff8081818f197cf00190…
6. 全国人大常委会 (2015). 反家庭暴力法（第二条）. flk.npc.gov.cn/detail?id=2c909fdd678bf1790167…