Send betrothal money by transfer and note what it is for, and keep the chat record. Money demanded by means of marriage can be asked back

Demanding property by means of marriage is prohibited, and the court supports giving it back. If you never registered, if you registered but genuinely never lived together, or if betrothal money given before marriage left the paying side in hardship, you can demand it back. If you registered and did live together, it is generally not returned. So betrothal money, the three pieces of gold jewelry, and the payment for changing the form of address all go by transfer with the purpose noted. Whoever paid keeps the evidence. The same rule applies to men and to women.

Cost

No money. Betrothal money, the three pieces of gold jewelry, and the payment for changing how you address the partner's parents all go by transfer, with the purpose written in the note. For anything agreed by mouth, keep a chat record, or have family there to confirm it.

Benefit

The law prohibits demanding property by means of marriage. If one side demands property in the name of betrothal money, and the other side asks for it back, the court supports that. There are three situations in which return can be demanded: the marriage was never registered; it was registered but the two genuinely never lived together; betrothal money was given before marriage and the side that paid it was left in hardship. If the marriage was registered and the two lived together, it is generally not returned. But if the time living together was short and the betrothal sum was too high, the court sets the share to be returned according to how the money was actually spent, whether there was a dowry, whether there was a pregnancy or a birth, and whether either side was at fault. If they never registered but already lived together, it is handled by the same shares (nationwide, from February 2024, that is 2024-2).

Notes

Whether betrothal money counts as "too high" depends on the per-capita disposable income where the paying side lives, and on that family's circumstances. There is no single national figure. How much should be returned is set by the judge case by case. The rules are the same for the side that paid and the side that received. Whoever paid keeps the evidence. Holding a banquet without registering the marriage does not make you spouses in law. See item 21 of section 10 (go and register even after the banquet).

Sources · 3

1. 全国人大 (2020). 民法典（第一千零四十二条）. spp.gov.cn/spp/fl/202006/t20200602_463888.shtml
2. 最高人民法院 (2024). 关于审理涉彩礼纠纷案件适用法律若干问题的规定（法释〔2024〕1 号，第二、五、六条）. court.gov.cn/fabu/xiangqing/423442.html
3. 最高人民法院 (2020). 关于适用《民法典》婚姻家庭编的解释（一）（法释〔2020〕22 号，第五条）. court.gov.cn/fabu/xiangqing/282071.html